Are you about to be a Clueless Farmer?

I know it’s been a while since I shared anything about how clueless a farmer I am. Would it help if I let you know I just sowed some collards and mustard seeds in my garden yesterday? In mid-October? In Virginia? Hoping they will grow? And that I planted 3- year-old corn seed and wondered why it didn’t come up? How about if I told you I lost over 2/3 of my tomato crop this year because a: I didn’t stake them, and b: I didn’t fence out the groundhogs. The combination of no staking and no fencing made an all-you-can-eat tomato buffet designed just for groundhogs and rabbits! What about the weeks when I had nothing to harvest except edible weeds? Which I did harvest, and sold at the market? (!!!) Then there was last week, when I boldly strode right up to our varmint trap, hoping to see the groundhog culprit of our sheared off lettuce bed. Hey, that’s no groundhog, that’s a skunk! AAAHHH! Our house still smells. Now that would have made good T.V.

Speaking of T.V., I got a call the other day from a casting director up in New York City. She’s looking for clueless farmers and lifestyle refugees like me, only ones who are more camera-friendly and are just starting their journey. Like in the about-to-quit-their-job and buy land stage of cluelessness. They are to star in a new “non-scripted” TV show. That’s fancy talk for “reality show,” I think.

Interested in sharing your journey with the viewing public?  Talk to Erica, the casting agent or some such. She’s really nice and not New Yorkerish at all, and very excited about this project.  But the one New Yorkerish thing is that she’s on a tight deadline. They want to have this thing “casted” within 2-3 weeks from NOW. Yesterday would be preferable, actually.

So if you want to be a star, act now and get a picture and a blurb out to her now! Here’s her blurb about the show and what they’re looking for.

Major Lifestyle Network is Casting Families and Couples who are planning to move, or have recently moved to follow their dreams!
Do you have a dream and are willing to move just about anywhere to make it happen? Will a change of location mean a change of lifestyle for you or your family? Are you ready for a new start and relocating to make it all possible? Loud TV wants to hear from you! We are currently seeking families and couples who are planning on moving to turn their dreams into reality. Whether you are looking to buy a farm to leave the chaos of big city living behind or if you long to leave the suburbs for a beach front resort, we want to hear from you! For consideration please email your contact information, a recent photo and your relocation plans to

She even sent a fancy casting call flyer! This is for real folks. Get your head shots together!

BUYING THE DREAM CASTING CALLShare widely. Though we Virginia folk are pushing for it to happen here in our beautiful Shenandoah neck of the woods.

This entry was posted in Farming, New Farmers, Small Farms, Virginia Farms and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Are you about to be a Clueless Farmer?

  1. Cheryl says:

    She’s clueless. You’d be perfect. You’re actually DOING it and from your recent description it still sounds like a surprising adventure! Ron’s made a big change too! We’ve just moved to London and Ron’s starting a PHD at London School of Tropical Medicine. Always nice to hear from you. Cheryl

    Sent from my iPhone

    • Diana says:

      It’s people like you two that keep me on my ever-growing toes! Gracious, back to school for Ron? I guess after all those AID reports, academia will be a breeze. Hope to meet up with you the next time I pass through London! Though it has been about 5 years…

  2. Richard Kellaway says:

    Good morning!

    Do you think that they might be interested in two 80 year olds eager to move to the country to raise clay pigeons, Oh, well!

    Marion and I will be at Campicello 11/4 – 7. Hope that Marion and I can find a way to see you during that time.


    Richard Kellaway

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